~2~ Valentine's Card Decision Matrix

For a Lover with a mind romantic, yet analytical, impulsive yet cautious, sentimental yet practical the choice of Valentine's Day cards can be problematic.

Here is Leonard's guide to Valentine's Day Cards. A cut out and keep matrix that will help you choose the right card, for the right lover, every time.

	For an Ex-lover	For a Secret Lover	For an Imaginary Lover
Advisability of Sending Card at all	Don’t even go here. Unless you are prepared to inadvertently signal your desire to rekindle an old relationship that was very probably misguided in the first place	I don’t have a secret lover. But I am guessing that for anyone that DOES have a secret lover it’s going to be second nature to want to buy them a card. Isn’t it?	Now, there’s not really much point having an Imaginary Lover if you don’t create for her an imaginary card, is there?
Type of Card	OK, you are going to go here. Well then a card is probably not the best idea: you are going to want a token that can’t be torn up and posted back to you. Her Facebook wall is your friend. Else phone their secretary and ask for their email address.	Subtle yet Sexy, Romantic yet Racy, Thoughtful yet Effortful. A print of the The Great Wave by Hokusai is  perfect	Be creative. This is your imagination, after all For example: for my imaginary lover I might create a geeky Valentine’s Day Card decision matrix (Does she really like geeky, you ask? Well she’s the product of my imaginations so of course she likes geeky!) followed by some sort of classic love poem about two true minds.
Price Point	Cheap	Unimportant - your love is worth more than rubies	What price imaginary love
Best Salutation	Hi !!!!!! J J	My Own,	No, need, you have her attention already
Ideal Pre-Printed Inscription	Leonard has sent you a Poke	A blank card for your own special message.	In your imagination, nothing is pre-printed
What to Write	Hey!!! Remember Me??????	My North, My South, My East and My West	For a lover with a mind romantic, yet analytical, impulsive yet cautious, sentimental yet practical the choice of Valentine's Day cards can be problematic.
Best Signature	Lennyboy	Your Leonard	Big Leonard
The worst thing that can happen	Receiving an unexpected card.	Buying a card for a Secret Lover who hasn’t bought one for you.	Nothing bad can happen with imaginary lovers. This is why we have them.